My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
