That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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