i just had sex bonerless
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
