Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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