I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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