Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
