since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
