I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
