dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
