Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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