apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
