why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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