You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
