i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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