No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
