My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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