C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
