I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you didnt know i had herpes?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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