just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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