I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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