Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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