I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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