i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
