i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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