Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
