either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
