I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dick very happy bro
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
