I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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