look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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