All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
