you win again, gameday.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
