your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you never un-have a 4some
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
