The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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