you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
