Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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