i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
