These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I love you. Go after that dick
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