wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
