I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
