I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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