You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
