oh god the rape fog is back!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
