eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you had me at cake vodka
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
