oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
