Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
