38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
