The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
