What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
