Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
