I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
